Stewart (Sutty) Sutton.
Sutty’s Ditchburn Story and More. By Stewart “Sutty” Sutton
After
starting
work
at
Ditchburn’s,
I
realised
that
this
was
the
normal
factory
shop-floor
banter
of
the
day
and
as
I
sat
and
remembered
it
all,
I
found
that
it
was
this
cross
talk
and
banter
that
I
seemed
to
remember
foremost
in
my
mind.
I
was
even
chuckling
quietly
to
myself
as
I
wrote
down
these
memories,
so
I've
decided
to
share
these
memories
in
that
same
manner.
I
can
only hope you have a little chuckle as well.
When
I
started
to
think
about
how
to
put
this
rather
bawdy
language
down
on
paper
without
causing
offense
this
put
me
in
a
bit
of
a
quandary,
I
wondered
how
it
would
look
to
a
reader,
I
found
that
as
I'm
thinking
about
my
time
at
Ditchburn’s
and
what
to
write
about,
much
of
the
strong
memories,
that
my
young
15/16/17
year
old
post
pubic
brain
remembers,
happens
to
include
the
sexual
banter
between
the
sexes
and
the
amusing
situations
they
led
to,
so
I
decided
to
see
if
I
could
write
it
like
it
was,
omitting
the
expletives
of
course,
leaving
them
to
your
imagination!
Having
just
moved
to
Lancashire
just
before
I
started
work,
that
in
general
I
found
the
Lancastrian
working
folk,
extremely
friendly,
funny
and
forthright.
They
were
straight
as
a
die,
calling
a
spade
a
spade,
take
it,
or
leave
it!
Then,
when
you
added
to
this,
a
fair
old
sprinkling
of
"good
old
Anglo
Saxon",
it
made
the
already
amusing situations, even funnier!
This
article
was
sent
to
us
by
Stewart
Sutton,
after
he
had
read
the
article
by
Arthur
Phillips
in
this
section
of
the
website,
this
prompted
“Sutty”
(as
he
was
affectionately
known)
to
write
his
own
story
of
his
time
at
the
Ditchburn
factory
in
Lytham,
its
a
great
and
humorous
tale
of
working
at
the
Lytham
factory,
and
the
wonderful
characters
and
people
that
he
worked
with,
and
many
times
whilst
reading
this
it
had
me
laughing
out
loud,
working
at
Ditchburn
also
helped
Sutty
steer
his
career
into
show
business
which
allowed
him
to
travel
on
Cruise
ships
and
entertain
people
all
over the the world.
Enjoy this wonderful insight into the Ditchburn Factory at Lytham and Sutty’s venture into show business.
MY TIME SPENT AT DITCHBURN VENDING MACHINES, DOCK ROAD, LYTHAM
My
name
is
Stewart
“Sutty”
Sutton,
I
was
mentioned
in
an
article
on
this
website
written
by
Arthur
Phillips,
about
his
time
working
in
Ditchburn’s
Vending
Machines
Dock
Rd,
Lytham,
Lancashire,
from
1963
until
he
left
ten
years
later
in
1973.
These
are
my
memories
of
working
at
Ditchburn’s,
from
when
I
left
school
in
1959
until
1963,
when,
for
about
three
years
I
worked
as
an
electrician
wiring
houses
on
building
sites.
I
then
went
back
to
Ditchburn’s
again
in
1967
for a short time, before finally leaving in 1968.
This
account
of
my
time
at
Ditchburn’s
are
memories
told
through
the
eyes
of
a
15
to
19
year
old,
and
should
be
taken
as
such.
When
I
first
arrived
in
Ditchburn’s,
I
was
a
quiet
15
year
old,
just
out
of
school,
quite
small
in
stature,
due
to
suffering
from
bronchial
asthma
for
most
of
my
life,
most
certainly
I
was
immature
and
unworldly,
to
say
the
least,
By
that
I
mean,
that
I
was
quite
shocked
by
the
attitudes
of
the
adult
male
and
female
factory
workers
towards
each other when speaking and joking about things, especially sexual matters.
There
was
also
the
prolific
use,
of
old
“Anglo
Saxon"
words,
used
by
the
men
amongst
themselves
as
an
adjective
for
ALL
scenarios,
including
tools,
people
and
places
they've
been
etc.
In
fact,
practically
in
every
sentence
that
came
out of their mouths, tee-hee !
Photo Ref: DB360 Courtesy of Stewart Sutton, Me in
the electrical Department in 1963, just before I left to go
house bashing!
Because
of
this,
I've
decided
include
a
few
milder
swear
words
where
necessary,
to
try
to
give
the
reader
a
true
picture
of
what
factory
life
was
like
in
post
war
late
1950s
early
60s
Britain.
I
hope
you
find
them
as
amusing
as
I
did,
as
I
slowly
extracted
them
from
my
75-year-old
brain.
I
found
that
with
each
new
memory,
a
new
face
appeared
and
with it of course, another very amusing new memory.
When
I
started
in
1959,
it
was
only
14
years
since
these
working
men
and
women
came
back
from
the
greatest
war
in
mankind’s
history
so
please
also
bear
in
mind,
that
the
post
WW2
world
in
1959/60/61
and
62
was
vastly
different
to
today.
It
was
a
man’s
world
and
they
were
still
using
the
same
language
they’d
used
as
they
fought
on
front
lines
of
WW2!
They
were
what
I
call,
when
I
look
back,
pre-everything
days,
Pre-contraceptive
pill,
pre-Beatles,
pre-miniskirt,
in
fact,
lacking in all of the things that made the "Swinging Sixties" swing! In fact, all the things that we take for granted today!
I
hope
you
enjoy
my
memories
of
my
early
Ditchburn
years,
as
much
as
I
did,
slowly
extracting
from
my
dim
distant
past.
So off we jolly well go…
I
was
what
they
called
a
"forces
child"
because
my
father
was
in
the
R.A.F.
He
joined,
circa
1939
and
left
in
1961,
22
years
later.
This
meant
that
my
schooling
was,
to
say
the
least,
fractured,
meaning
that
every
two
years
he
was
posted
to
a
different
R.A.F.
base,
so
literally,
every
two
years
I
attended
a
different
school.
His
final
posting
was
to
R.A.F.
Warton,
a
small
village
just
outside
of
Lytham
in
Lancashire.
The
estate
was
called
Harbour
Lane
and
right
across
the
road
was
a
B.A.C
airfield
and
testing
area
for
the
Lightning
P1B,
a
cutting
edge
supersonic
fighter
aircraft
of
the
time
that
could
fly
at
twice
the
speed
of
sound,
+/-
1600mph,
which
was
Mach
2,
using
a
new
super
charged
method
of
thrust
called
"afterburn",
which
consisted
of
pumping
jet
fuel
directly
into
the
red-hot
emissions
from
the
jet
engines
after
take-off,
giving
huge
extra
thrust,
acting
more
like
a
rocket
than
a
jet
engine!
My
father
was
a
servicing
engineer working on these for the R.A.F. in the large B.A.C. factory in Preston Lancs.
I
did
my
last
15
or
so
months
of
schooling
a
Kirkham
Carr-Hill,
which
was
a
brand
new
secondary
modern
school
on
the outskirts of Kirkham, situated on the Frecleton road.
Because
of
my
fractured
schooling,
and
also
the
fact
that
I
was
a
very
sickly
child
suffering
from
bronchial
asthma
for
most
of
my
school
days,
I
also
missed
a
great
deal
of
lessons,
therefore
had
no
qualifications
when
I
left
school,
after
the summer holidays in 1959. (that’s my excuse and I'm sticking to it) Therefore, factory work seemed the only option.
In
that
year,
I
think
there
was
also
a
recession
on
at
the
time
in
the
U.K.
and
none
of
the
factories
were
hiring,
so
after
the
seven
weeks
summer
holidays,
my
father
actually
got
the
Carr-Hill
school
to
let
me
return
and
continue
for
the
last
term.
When
I
left
again,
a
term
later,
I
found
myself
in
Dock
Rd
Lytham,
with
my
mum
and
dad,
going
from
factory
to
factory,
which
were
mostly
like
small
family
run
businesses.
We
simply
asked
each
one
if
they
were
taking
on
any
apprentices, or trainees.
MY FIRST INTERVIEWS
I
remember
the
first
factory
that
offered
me
a
job
was
a
welding
firm,
but
as
we
were
going
around,
we
noticed
a
sort
of
blue
haze
in
the
air
and
a
strong
smell
of
oil
and
diesel,
my
chest
started
to
react
to
the
fumes,
and
I
tried
to
clear
my
throat,
I
eventually
started
to
cough,
Instantly,
my
mother
said,
"Come
along
Joseph,
he
can't
work
here,
he'll
be
ill
in no time"!
Further
down,
there
was
an
ice
cream
factory,
which
I
think
was
called
Eldorado
Ice
Cream,
but
I
can't
be
sure?
This
was lovely and clean, but they'd just hired a young guy a week or two earlier so nothing there for me.
There
was
also
a
fairly
large
factory
called
“Mullard”,
they
made
electronic
valves,
which
were
used
in
every
form
of
radios,
televisions,
amplifiers
and
every
other
type
of
electronic
appliance
(including
the
Ditchburn
Jukeboxes)
No
luck there, because although it was nice and clean, nearly all of their staff were young female school leavers.
I
might
add,
that
a
few
years
later,
the
transistor
replaced
the
valve
and
in
a
very
short
time
their
business
started
to
decline when cheap imports of Japanese imported solid state electronic goods, flooded into Britain.
Eventually,
at
the
bottom
of
the
road
we
saw
a
larger
factory
with
"Ditchburn
Music
Maker"
on
a
big
sign.
As
we
entered
the
nice
clean
reception
area,
I
noticed
pictures
on
the
walls
of
"Wurlitzer
Juke
Boxes"
which
were
from
the
U.S.A.
and
were
the
latest
craze
in
the
cafes
and
coffee
bars,
playing
all
the
latest
pop
records.
My
mum
and
dad
thought how clean it was and our hopes were very high.
The
pretty
young
receptionist,
said
in
conversation,
that
she
thought
there
may
something
available
for
me,
and
told
us
about
how
well
the
Juke
Boxes
were
selling
and
how
great
it
was
that
staff
got
very
cheap
pop
records.
After
the
service
engineers
periodically
updated
the
machines,
they
brought
back
the
older
hits,
which
were
then,
of
course,
worthless
to
anyone,
so
staff
could
buy
them
at
a
huge
discount.
I
started
getting
quite
excited
by
this
prospect
of
cheap
records,
however,
when
she
enquired
about
the
job,
she
was
told
the
Music
Maker
side
didn't
need
any
one
at
this time, but, Ditchburn Vending Machines did.
She
informed
us
that
Ditchburn’s
had
just
obtained
a
licence
from
an
American
company,
to
manufacture
and
distribute
these
cutting
edge
hot
and
cold
drink
machines
in
the
UK
and
that
someone
was
coming
to
see
us.
in
a
few
minutes,
A
man
in
a
white
boiler
suit
came
in
and
introduced
himself
as
Harry
Barber,
the
foreman
in
charge
of
the
small
team
making
automatic
vending
machines,
selling
coffee,
tea
and
chocolate
in
offices,
factories
etc.
During
his
sales
pitch,
he
said
that
the
old
char,
or
tea
ladies’
jobs,
would
soon
be
obsolete
due
to
these
machines.
The
automatic
tea
coffee
and
chocolate
machines
called
a
"Hotspa"
and
the
cold
drink
machine
called
the
"Coldspa",
selling
cola,
lemonade,
and
orangeade,
would
both
soon
replace
the
tea
ladies in most factories and offices in no time at all.
Harry
Barber
told
us,
that
a
young
lad
called
Barry,
who
had
only
been
there
for
a
short
time,
decided
to
join
the
R.A.F.
and
his
call
up
had
come
through
quicker
than
expected,
so
the
job
was
mine
if
I
wanted
it.
My
dad
asked
what
I
would
be
trained
as,
and
was
told
that
I
would
have
extensive
electrical
experience
in
circuitry
and
wiring
diagrams
and
would
also
be
qualified
in
refrigeration
engineering. We shook hands and I started soon afterwards.
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE OF FACTORY LIFE
I
was
employed
initially
on
the
production
line,
which
assembled
the
coffee
tea
and
hot
chocolate
vending
machines.
The
single
man
on
the
production
line
that
I
worked
with
assembling
all
the
components
into
the
cabinets,
was
called
Neville.
I
can't
remember
his
other
name.
I
think
we
turned
out
3
or
4
machines
a
day,
which
when
completed,
were
rolled
around
to
the
inspection
bay,
where
a
little
tubby
electrician
called
Eddie
Clegg,
(Cleggy),
as
we
called
him,
made
sure
they
worked
correctly,
and
did
the
final
tune
up
making
them
ready
for
sales
and
final
delivery
to
customers.
My
one
memory
of
Cleggy,
was
one
that
taught
me
a
very
serious
lesson
about
working
with
moving
machinery
in
a
factory, and what appropriate clothes to wear during work hours.
Eddie
had
come
over
to
the
production
line
and
told
us
that
we
hadn't
drilled
a
certain
hole
in
a
bracket.
He
told
us
not
to
worry,
he'd
do
it
and
proceeded
to
put
the
bit
into
the
drill
and
started
drilling.
All
of
a
sudden,
the
electric
drill
snatched as it bit into the metal, and flew from his hands!
Still
going
full
speed,
the
momentum
made
the
drill
start
to
spin
on
the
deck
top!
In
the
blink
of
an
eye
the
quite
large
bit
in
the
drill,
grabbed
Eddies
tie,
which
was
red
in
colour.
As
the
tie
wound
around
the
drill
bit,
it
was
pulled
upwards,
towards
Eddie's
stomach
and
chest
and
still
spinning
very
fast,
heading
upwards
towards
Eddies
throat,
Bits
of
red
were
flying
everywhere,
which
we
all
thought
was
Eddie's
flesh,
Eddie
just
grabbed
the
drill
in
time
and
yanked
it
away
from
himself,
When
we
found
out
it
was
only
his
tie,
we
all
gave
out
a
few
nervous
chuckles,
as
did
Eddie
himself,
He
looked
down
at
the
shredded
tie,
looked
up,
and
said
the
a
rue
smile,
"Anyone
got
a
pair
of
scissors,
I
never did like this bloody tie anyhow".
That
sort
of
broke
the
ice
and
we
all
had
a
bit
of
a
nervous
laugh
about
something
that
could've
been
far
more
serious,
Cleggy
held
the
tattered
ends
and
with
a
swift
snip,
cut
off
it
off,
leaving
a
2-inch
stub.
He
then
turned
to
us
and
said,
in
a
very
nonchalant
manner,
"Oh
well,
back
to
bloody
work
lads
and
lasses,
and
cheerfully
went
back
to
his
inspection work!
That
early
lesson
taught
me
never
to
wear
dangly
bits
that
could
get
caught
in
moving
parts
of
any
type
of
machinery
or work equipment, Health and safety didn't mean much in those days!
At
that
time,
the
team
was
a
small
one.
There
were
three
women
cutting
the
wires,
soldering
them
and
making
up
and
the
wiring
harnesses,
with
all
the
appropriate
switches
and
plugs
etc.
for
the
machines.
One
of
the
ladies
was
called
Maud
Sharp,
she
was
the
loud,
funny
little
one
of
the
group,
short
and
stout,
with
a
great
sense
of
humour,
using
every
opportunity
to
make
double
meanings
of
everything
you
happened
to
say.
The
other
two
were
called
Cathy
and
Dorothy.
I
can't
recall any of their surnames.
Dorothy,
(or
Dotty
as
we
called
her),
always
got
embarrassed
by
everything
Maud
seemed
to
say,
and
was
always
saying
,"Oh
Maud,
you
are
a
one,
saying
such
things!"
This,
of
course
made
us
all
laugh.
along
with
them,
In
the
end,
whenever
Maud
said
anything,
we
were
all
saying
"Oh
Maud,
you
are
a
one,
saying
such
things".
Of
course,
this
made
Dotty
even
more
embarrassed,
much
to
everyone’s
enjoyment,
We
all
thought
Dotty
reminded
us
of
"Mavis"
the
character
from
Coronation Street, which should give you an idea of what she was like.
Maud
Sharp,
sort
of
took
me
under
her
wing,
and
mothered
me,
as
I
was
small
and
under-developed
for
my
age,
due
to
my
bronchial
asthma.
She
too,
was
very
small
in
height,
and
as
I
found
out
later,
she
had
no
children,
so
I
think
I
became
her
substitute
child
in
those
early
months
at
Ditchburn.
To
emphasise
just
how
small
we
were,
she
and
her
husband
invited
me
to
go
on
a
day
trip
with
them
to
Chester
Zoo
by
car.
When
they
turned
up
to
pick
me
up,
they
were in a B.M.W. Sounds good when I write it, but not when I tell you that it was a “B.M.W. ISETTA BUBBLE CAR”!
My
first
thought
was,
how
the
hell
will
we
all
fit
in
there.
However,
Maud’s
husband
was
also
a
very
small
man,
who
was
about
the
same
size
as
me,
and
to
my
great
surprise,
the
3
of
us
fitted
quite
comfortably
into
the
single
front
seat, needless to say, a great day was had by all.
The
delivery
driver
at
Ditchburn
was
also
a
very
amusing
character,
his
name
was
Reg
Udall,
who
I
often
helped
secure
the
completed
machines
with
ropes
into
the
back
of
the
pickup
trucks
used
for
delivery.
Once
again,
he
was
always
cracking
jokes,
an
telling
me
about
some
his
experiences
he
encountered
as
he
travelled
the
country
as
a
long-distance
delivery
driver.
He
was
certainly
another
fun
person
to
be
at
work
with,
making
the
life
of
a
long-
distance
lorry
driver,
sound
very
exciting
indeed.
From
my
memories,
the
majority
of
my
workmates
were
a
happy
crowd and fun to be around.
Another
funny,
witty
guy,
was
the
supervisor
called
Tommy,
This
was
not
the
Tommy
that
Arthur
Phillips
talked
of
in
his story, Tommy Greaves, he took over from my Tommy some time later.
My
Tommy
in
the
early
days,
seemed
to
be
the
supervisor
over
everyone
on
production,
but
he
also
was
the
main
engineer
who
serviced
the
large
red
milk
machines,
which
were
the
first
type
of
automatic
vending
machines
which
I
remember
seeing
and
using
at
the
time.
There
were
always
a
couple
of
them
standing
around
in
those
early
days
waiting to be fixed.
They
were
round
with
a
+/-
3
feet
diameter.
Inside
there
was
a
wheel-like
mechanism
divided
into
segments.
where
milk
bottles
were
stacked
3
or
4
deep
in
each
segment,
which
were
spring
loaded.
In
the
front
of
the
machine,
there
was
one,
or
maybe
two
windows,
about
6
inches
wide
and
about
the
height
of
a
standard
milk
bottle,
so
you
could
see
if
the
machine
was
either
full
or
empty
before
you
put
in
your
money
in.
The
empty
glass
window
on
the
right
side
had
a
knob
on
it,
and
was
movable.
When
you
put
your
money
in,
the
wheel-like
mechanism
inside
moved
the
milk
bottle
behind
the
glass
window
on
the
left,
around
one
segment
to
where
the
movable
door
gave
you
access
the
milk
bottle. Maybe someone else out there, has a better description of them?
A
simple
technology
by
today’s
standards,
but
quite
cutting
edge
for
its
time.
They
were
probably
on
the
way
out,
because
when
they
came
in
for
repair,
I
remember
Tommy,
actually
had
to
make
any
parts
that
had
broken,
or
worn
out, on his lathe.
Actually,
something
way
back
of
my
mind
is
telling
me
that
Tommy,
might
have
actually
made
them,
and
that
maybe,
he
sold
out
to
Ditchburn.
Then
Ditchburn’s,
probably
realised
that
there
may
be
a
future
in
automatic
drink
vending
machines
and
bought
the
US
licence
to
manufacture
the
Hotspa
and
Coldspa
machines.
in
the
UK.
I
can't
be
sure,
and will probably never know, because most of that generation will have passed away by now.
I
remember,
that
as
you
entered
the
main
large
factory
area,
in
the
main
building,
the
vending
machine
stores
and
the
production
area
were
on
the
right-hand
side
of
the
main
factory
area.
Tommy
had
his
work
bench
alongside
our
production
line
benches,
up
against
the
wall
of
the
store’s
office,
from
where
we
withdrew
components
when
they
were
needed
for
constructing
the
vending
machines.
The
other
Tommy,
Tommy
Greaves,
in
Arthur
Phillips
blog
has
his picture, working at, what could be, the same bench a few years later.
Photo Ref: DB374 Courtesy of Richard Wink
The
managerial
offices
were
on
the
left-hand
side
and
had
an
open
corridor
running
past
each
of
the
office
entrances
for
access.
Running
down
the
right
hand
side
of
the
corridor
there
were
rows
of
empty
vending
machine
cabinets,
standing
side
by
side
.
These
empty
cabinets
formed
a
sort
of
barrier
between
the
offices
and
the
production
area.
they
stood
awaiting
the
insertion
and
assembly
of
all
the
components,
that
made
up
the
completed
working
vending
machines.
Eventually,
the
production
line
was
moved
into
a
two-storey
warehouse
across
the
yard
at
the
back
of
the
present
factory
building.
As
you
exited
the
back
door
into
the
yard,
there
was
a
machine
shop
on
the
left,
filled
with
lathes,
large
drills
and
metal
saws
which
would
also
make
any
parts,
if
needed,
for
any
of
the
Juke
Boxes,
or
indeed,
any
of
the
machines
that
Ditchburn’s
manufactured.
The
man
that
ran
the
machine
shop
was
tall
young
man,
with
a
big
round
face
and
glasses,
also
called
Tom.
There
was
a
ramp
just
past
the
machine
shop
leading
up
into
the
warehouse
door.
Straight
through
the
door,
there
were
stairs
to
the
upper
level,
which
eventually
became
the
new
electrical department, The lower level became the new production assembly area.
Behind
the
warehouse
at
the
back
of
the
building,
it
overlooked
the
muddy
creek
leading
to
the
sea.
The
move
to
the
warehouse across the yard happened about 18 months after I started work.
As
I
was
the
newest
and
youngest
in
the
factory,
I
was
nominated
the
"tea
boy",
collecting
all
of
the
guys
cups
at
tea
time,
which
was
a
daily
ritual
that
took
place
I
think,
at
around
10am
each
morning
and
3:30pm
each
afternoon.
I
remember
thinking,
when
I
first
started
doing
the
tea,
what
an
awful
selection
of
really
grubby
looking
cups
there
were.
As
I
said,
Tommy
was
a
tradesman,
who
was
a
cut
above
most
of
the
other
unskilled
guys,
who
most
probably,
had
all
worked
in
the
past,
on
building
sites,
where
they
were
in
much
more
harsh
conditions
than
this
nice
clean
new
factory, so some of their cups were not exactly in pristine condition, to say the least!
They
were
mostly
of
the
old
white
enamel
type,
very
old,
chipped
and
badly
stained
from
their
building
site
days.
I
had
all
of
these
cups
on
a
tray
and
when
I
went
to
collect
Tommy's
cup,
he
winked
and
said,
in
his
broad,
forthright
Lancashire
accent,
"Hells
bells
an
buckets
of
blood,
look
at
the
state
of
them
bloody
cups.
One
sip
of
tea
outa
one
of
them would give ya galloping polio" !
I
remember
cracking
up
laughing
at
the
term,
"galloping
polio",
for
obvious
reasons,
and
I
laughed
even
more
when
he
added,
"Jesus,
Christ,
look
at
them
stains,
you
wouldn't
even
have
to
put
tea
leaves
in
the
bloody
cups,
just
add
boiling water and a dash of milk and it would brew a cup of bloody tea all by itself"!
More
laughter
from
me,
although
you
shouldn’t
laugh
really,
because
polio
was
a
very
serious
disease
to
contract
in
those days.
Polio,
is
a
water
borne
disease
which
was
quite
a
common
during
my
early
childhood.
Mainly
caused,
due
to
bomb
damage in WW2, which resulted in many badly damaged sewer pipes.
The
shop
floor
made
jokes
just
about
everything,
nothing
was
off
the
table,
race,
religion,
blacks,
whites,
homosexuals,
nothing
was
sacred.
What
was
said
then
in
normal
conversation
would've
made
todays
workforce
easily
offended,
Liberal
snowflakes
would
turn
in
their
graves!
But
all
in
all,
even
with
such
openness,
everyone
seemed
to
get
on
and
my
memories
of
my
early
work
experience
were
very
happy
ones,
and
I
suppose
that's
all
that
matters.
EXPANSION OF THE WORKFORCE
Production
soon
picked
up
and
new
faces
arrived
to
increase
the
output,
one
of
whom
was
a
young
20
odd
year
old
refrigeration
engineer
from
Birmingham.
I
can't
be
sure,
but
I
think
his
name
was
John
something,
It
may
come
back
me as I write!
I
do
recall
him,
being
a
real
"Jack
the
Lad"
city
slicker,
with
swept
back
hair
and
with
loads
of
Brylcreem
on
it.
He
always
had
a
lot
to
say
for
himself,
so
as
usual,
the
older
guys
gave
him
a
nickname.
They
nicknamed
him,
"The
Bum
from Brum"!
Eventually,
he
married
one
of
the
office
girls
from
the
juke
box
side
of
Ditchburn,
Who
I
think
was
called
Christine?
As
he
was
the
second
youngest
on
the
shop
floor,
we
sort
of
became
buddies.
He
taught
me
about
fridges
and
how
to
charge them up and service them in those early days on the factory floor.
After
a
few
months
he
said
he
was
going
home
to
see
his
mum
and
dad,
and
asked
me
if
I
wanted
to
go
for
the
weekend
and
see
Birmingham.
As
I'd
never
been
before
I
thought,
"Why
not"!
There
had
recently
been
some
news
articles
in
the
papers
about
the
new
redevelopment
of
the
Birmingham
town
center,
called
"The
Bull
Ring"
and
of
course,
the
new
"Spaghetti
Junction"
they'd
built
as
part
of
the
brand
new
M6
|motorway.
Mind
you,
there
was
only
the
Birmingham
ring
road
part
of
the
M6
built
at
that
time,
going
from
where
the
M1
finished,
up
to
the
"Spaghetti
Junction. The rest of the M1, up to the lake district was a long way off completion. Still, it made a nice break.
After
I'd
been
at
Ditchburn
for
about
six
months
or
so,
I
had
a
lesson
in
one
of
life's
many
issues, one of which was honesty, and whether it really was “The best policy”
For
some
reason
I
had
to
cycle
to
work
earlier
than
usual,
and
that
winters
day
was,
cold
and
crisp,
as
they
say,
As
I
cycled
down
Dock
Rd,
I
approached
a
brown
object
in
the
middle
of
the
road,
When
I
got
closer,
I
could
see
that
It
was
a
small
brown
leather
bag,
about 20cms by 20cms, with a lock on it, and written on it was Nat West!
I
knew
that
this
was
a
bank,
but
as
I
looked
around,
there
was
not
a
soul
in
sight,
or
indeed
any
sounds
coming
from
any
of
the
factories
in
the
road.
So
I
picked
it
up
and
put
it
in at saddle bag and continued to work.
It
was
now
that
I
had,
what
I
called,
the
first
test
of
my
character
in
my
life.
There
was
obviously
money
in
the
bag
and
it
wouldn't
have
taken
much
effort
to
open
it.
I
have
to
say
that
it
did
cross
at
mind
to
just
say
nothing
and
take
it
home
after
work,
force
it
open
and
enjoy
the
proceeds.
That
question
gnawed
at
my
mind
until
tea
break,
when,
in
conversation,
I
told
everyone
that
in
the
paper
there
was
a
story
of
a
guy
who
had
found
a
locked
cash
bag
with
the
bank's
name
on
it.
He
didn't
report
it,
and
he
seems
to
have
got
away with it! I put the question to them, “What would you have done”?
We'll, out of the ten listeners, only one said they'd take it back to the bank!
Reasons
given
ranged
from,
“Listen
lad,
if
you
lose
something,
someone
else
finds
it
and
they
gain
from
it”.
“Other
people
lose
something
and
you
find
it,
you
gain”.
It's
called
swings
and
round-a-bouts.
That
made
the
problem
even
worse.
I
suppose
that
as
I'd
never
really
wanted
for
anything
in
my
life,
due
to
the
fact,
that
in
the
force’s
men
were
housed,
paid
reasonably
well
and
able
to
lead
a
normal
life,
therefore
my
values,
on
things
such
as
this,
had
never
been
tested
before,
So…
after
much
thought
and
procrastination,
I
proceeded
to
the
Nat
West
Bank
in
Lytham,
where
a
very
surprised
bank
teller
took
the
bag
and
told
me
to
wait
there
until
she
came
back,
When
she
returned
she
told
me
that
it
had
been
reported
missing
by
the
factory
owner,
who'd
lost
it
when
the
doors
of
his
van
had
come
open
as
he
turned
into
his
factory
in
Dock
road,
(it
was
The
one
with
the
polluted
atmosphere
where
I
went
for
a
job),
but
they’d
given
up
any
hope
of
getting
it
back.
They
are
very,
very
grateful,
because
it
was
the
weeks
wages
of
over
£110.00 pounds that they thought they’d lost and want you to call in after work tonight and see them.
I
“floated
on
air”,
back
to
work,
in
anticipation
of
what
I
might
get
from
the
factory
owner
and
I
then
informed
at
workmates
of
what
had
happened.
“Oh,
so
now
we
know
why
you
asked
that
stupid
bloody
question
at
tea
break”,
came
their
replies.
A
few
of
them,
that
had
said
they
would
keep
it,
said
that
this
would
be
a
good
test
of
who
was
right and who was wrong won't it, as for finding £110.00 you should get at least a fiver, or even a tenner!
Nowadays, you might think, how could that be a total weeks wages for a small factory come to £110.00 ?
Well,
in
those
days
an
unskilled
worker
might
get
around
+/-£10.00
per
week
and
a
skilled
man
+/-
£13.00,
so
with
a
workforce
of
a
small
engineering
firm
of
nine
people
with
a
few
skilled
guys
and
a
few
unskilled
guys
and
the
boss,
it
works out about right.
I
went
to
the
factory
after
work
and
saw
the
boss
who
shook
at
hand
and
went
through
his
speech
about
being
honest
and
that
it
was
refreshing
to
meet
someone,
“who
did
the
right
thing”,
by
handing
in
thee
wages
bag.
He
then
finished off with a final thanks and handshake, pressing a half a crown coin into at palm as he did so….
My
silent
thoughts
screamed,
“HALF
A
BLOODY
CROWN”!
Well,
even
I
could
do
the
maths
on
this,
eight
half
crowns to the pound X 110 = 880. This equals a reward of 0.88%!
When at workmates heard the news, a chorus of profanities filled the air!
The
most
popular
one
seemed
to
be,
when
translated
into
usable
English
was,
that
the
boss
was
an
“Effin,
tight,
fatherless man”! Tee-hee!
Oh,
by
the
way,
my
wages
at
the
time
at
Ditchburn
were
£2.50
per
week
so
you
can
see
why
I
felt
a
bit
hard
done
by,
I
must
admit
that
I
had
to
agree
with
the
guys
and
I
vowed
that
if
ever
I
found
anything
similar,
ever
again,
that
I
would keep quiet about it, unfortunately, that situation has never happened to me again!
THE INFAMOUS OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY
There
may
have
been
a
“class”
barrier
between
management
and
workers
throughout
the
year,
but
by
God,
did
that
barrier come crashing down at the Christmas office party!
At
the
parties
I
went
to,
they
usually
started
by
us
all
lining
up,
to
meet
and
shake
hands
with
Mr
Ditchburn
and
all
his
management
staff.
I've
included
a
photograph.
This
would
then
be
followed
up
by
a
speech
by
Mr
Ditchburn,
giving
us his round up of how well Ditchburn’s had done and his aims for the future.
Then
the
bar
opened
and
the
drinking
began,
They
always
started
of
slowly,
in
a
sort
of
sedate
manner,
but
given
an
hour, the power of alcohol took over it was every man for himself, especially under the mistletoe Tee-hee.
I'll tell you now, there were always a few rather embarrassed faces on the first workday after the night before!
I
remember
Cathy
came
over
as
we
were
standing
in
a
group
and
proclaimed,
“Got
him”.
It
seemed,
the
shop
floor
girls
had
a
little
bet
on,
as
to
how
many
of
the
managers
they
could
kiss!
“That's
Mr
Walker
off
my
list”.
She
proudly
said
with
a
huge
grin
on
her
face.
We
looked
over
by
the
bar
at
Mr
Walker,
and
sure
enough,
there
he
was,
pouring
himself another large scotch, also with a huge grin on his face.
Cathy
always
wore
bright,
cherry
red
lipstick
and
the
proof
that
Cathy
had
nailed
him
was
there
for
all
to
see,
because
his
lips
and
cheek
had
huge,
bright
,cherry
red
lipstick
smears
on
them.
He
didn't
seem
to
care,
as
he
downed
half
of
the
large
scotch
that
he
had
just
poured,
He
was
certainly
living
up
to
his
nickname
of
“Johnny
Walker.
Soon
everyone
was
dancing
and
had
party
hats
on
and
those
things
that
you
blow
into
and
they
shoot
out
about
a
foot
and
spring
back
again,
making
that
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
noise
like
a
siren!
One
time,
I
went
over
the
yard
to
the
warehouse
get
something
from
my
workbench
and
as
I
went
up
the
ramp
I
heard
some
giggles
coming
from
the
office
in
the
electrical
department.
I
quietly
sneaked
into
my
test
area
and
got
what
I
wanted
and
got
out
again
before
I
embarrassed
anyone!
Just
before
I
went
down
the
stairs
to
the
ramp
outside,
I
blew
as
hard
as
I
could
on
my
blower
from
the
party
making
the
loudest
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
siren
noise
I
could
muster,
then
made
a
dash
for
it,
leaving behind me lots of shuffling about, squeals and giggles! Tee-hee!
As
always,
by
the
day
after,
they
all
had
returned
back
to
their
prim
and
proper
facades
they
displayed
during
normal
office hours, that is, until the Christmas party came around again next year.
I
also
remember
that
we
had
“Cabaret
Nights”,
where
we
had
“The
King
Brothers”,
one
of
the
British
star
recording
groups
of
the
time,
who
had
a
number
of
hit
parade
songs,
one
of
which
was,
“Standing
on
the
Corner
Watching
all
the Girls go By”
There
was
another
time
a
really
popular
Saturday
morning
radio
show
called,
“Workers
Playtime”,
broadcast
live
from
our
shop
floor,
starring
a
very
young
Des
O’Conner,
The
Vernon
Girls
and
a
couple
of
other
lesser
known
acts
that I can't remember. This was very unusual, for a local factory to do such things and I think I might know why?
On
the
Ditchburn
web
site,
I
read,
there
was
a
man
named
Jack
Hylton,
who
was
something
big
on
the
music
side
of
Ditchburn’s.
I
learned
that
this
man
was
the
same
Jack
Hylton
who
became
a
big-time
impresario
in
the
1960s,
70s,
and
80s
who
probably
had
a
lot
to
do
with
bringing
the
bands
and
shows
we
had
earlier
on,
and
was
probably
very
involved in Ditchburn’s going into recording and record production after I left the company!
(Editors
Note:
we
have
now
found
out
that
Jack
Hylton
didn’t
have
any
connection
with
Ditchburn
after
they
bought
the
rights
to
manufacture
the
jukeboxes
from
Hawtin’s,
in
fact
Hawtin’s
had
removed
the
Jack
Hylton
name
from
the
Jukeboxes
by
the
end
of
1947
and
we
understand
from
Arthur
Philips
that
Jack
Hylton
actually
took
Ditchburn
to
court
around
1955
(needs
verification)
for
using
the
Music
Maker
name
which
Hylton
had
registered
and
was
still
the
owner
of,
the
most
likely
reason
of
the
involvement
of
the
big
stars
was
through
the
record
companies
that
they
were
signed
to
and,
these
record
labels
would
have
wanted
Ditchburn
to
put
their
performers
records
on
the
Jukeboxes
that Ditchburn operated across the UK )
Because
of
reading
the
Ditchburn
website,
another
small
piece
of
my
Ditchburn
puzzle
fell
into
place.
It
must've
been
early
1963,
just
before
I
left
for
the
first
time.
Ditchburn’s
had
some
sort
of
get
together
and
two
of
the
Ditchburn’s
staff sang a song each!
I
don't
recall
the
name
of
the
other
guy,
but
he
was
trained
tenor,
who
worked
in
the
office,
but
who
also
did
amateur
dramatics and musicals. He sang songs from the shows.
The
other
performer
was
little
old
“ME”.
I
sang
a
great
Clarence
Frogman
Henry
jazz-
rock
song,
called,
“I
Don't
Know Why I Love You But I Do”
When
I'd
finished,
one
of
the
sales
representatives,
who
I
only
knew
as
Jim,
came
up
to
me
and
asked
about
my
singing and if I wanted to make an effort to sing in the clubs etc. I, said of course, yes, I was.
He
then
asked
if
I
would
like
to
go
to
Manchester
on
the
coming
Saturday
to
watch
a
group
called
“Le
Nocturne”
recording a song in a studio. I said, “You Bet”, and off we went that weekend, and did we go.
Phew!
It
was
a
good
thing
I
wore
my
kaki
underwear,
because
he
had
one
of
those
huge
Ford
Zephyr
6
cars
with
the
huge square bonnet and I must admit, I'd never travelled so fast in all at life!
On
the
way,
Jim
told
me,
that
he
thought
that
they
might
go
big
time
very
soon,
because
of
the
lead
singer
called
Eve
Eden.,
plus
the
super
harmonies
etc.
Well
they
did,
but
not
quite
as
he
imagined.
They
never
quite
made
it
in
that
form,
but
within
18
months
or
so,
they
reformed,
Eve
Eden
became
Eve
Graham
and
the
“New
Seekers”
were
formed.
They
had
great
harmonies
and
their
sound
was
fantastic
and
they
had
“overnight
stardom”
and
a
worldwide
hit with, “I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing”. Well, that certainly is the wonderful world of “Show Business”!
As
Ditchburn
expanded
even
more,
new
faces
appeared.
an
electrician
called
Jack
Matheson
who
they
nicknamed
(Tweeny)
because
he
was
smaller
than
all
the
other
men.
He
didn't
seem
to
mind
the
men
calling
him
it,
but
when
I
tried
it
on,
he
said,
very
light
heatedly,
"Now
listen
lad,
they
can
get
away
with
it,
but
let's
have
a
little
bit
of
respect
from
you
youngsters.
I
agreed,
and
gave
him
an
apology
and
we
carried
on
playing
our
game
of
chess,
which
he
was
teaching me at the time.
Jack
also
passed
on
quite
a
lot
of
electrical
knowledge
to
me
which
helped
me
a
great
deal,
not
only
in
Ditchburn,
but
all
the
way
through
my
lifetime.
Another
new
guy
was
I
think
called
either
Eric,
or,
Keith?
I'll
settle
on
Eric.
I
can't
remember
his
sir
name,
but
he
was
always
sucking
on
his
pipe
as
he
worked.
He
joined
Jack,
myself
and
the
women
in the electrical department, doing the harnesses and selector switches etc. for the Hotspa and Coldspa machines.
Another
new
face
was
a
very
handsome
young
Italian,
called
Italo
Maruchi,
who
was
brought
in
as
electrical
foreman,
He
was
very
tall
for
an
Italian
and
looked
very
much
like
the
young
Clint
Eastwood
when
he
played
Rowdy
Yates from the popular "Rawhide" TV series, but spoke a very charming broken Italian / English.
As
you
can
imagine,
the
older
ladies
used
to
cast
a
wistful
eye
at
him
as
he
passed
by.
They
certainly
weren't
allowed
to
forget
it
either.
Both
Jack
and
Keith
noticed
this
and
used
to
kid
them
on.
Jack
would
say,
that
it
was
so
funny
to
see
how
all
you
girls
seem
to
need
so
much
more
help
doing
your
work
these
days,
since
the
dashing
Italian
became
the
foreman,
Keith
would
add,
that
we've
seen
how
you
get
a
little
bit
flushed
when
he
stands
close
and
leans over you to show you which hole it was that you had to put your little wire into!
Of
course,
quick
as
a
flash
Maud
Sharp
come
back
with,
"You’re
only
jealous,
because
we
never
ask
you
which
hole
it was that you had to put your little wire into"!
Lots of laughter, then Dotty saying "Oh Maud you are awful"!
Then of course we all followed up with each of us saying, "Oh Maud you are awful"!
Lots more laughter, then Italo saying, “No, no, no, No laugh, work only, we need harness, urgent”.
Maud Sharp certainly lived up to her name, which kept us all smiling for many years!
Another
of
the
many
amusing
incidents
with
Maud,
was
a
day
when
everyone
was
working
quietly,
soldering
away,
when
all
of
a
sudden,
Maud’s
little
voice
said,
"Ooooh,
I
think
I
need
a
new
end",
After
the
obvious
comments
from
Jack
and
Eric,
plus
the
laughter.
I
leaned
over
and
asked
her
to
show
me.
She
showed
me
that
the
small
copper
bit
on
the
end
of
her
soldering
iron
had
become
all
pitted
and
uneven.
I
told
her
that
this
was
quite
normal
and
it
was
because
of
the
reaction
between
the
solder,
the
flux
inside
the
solder
that
eats
away
the
copper
bit.
All
that
was
needed was filing flat again.
As
she
had
no
file,
I
offered
to
do
it,
but
with
a
coy
little
smile,
she
said,
“No
bother,
I
think
I'll
call
Italo",
giving
Jack,
Eric and I, a little wink. Jack said, “Oooooh yeah, so now we're not good enough for you eh, Maud” ?
“Just you wait, to when Italo's not here, then you'll be in trouble, right boys", nodding at Eric and I.
Maud
told
us
to
shush
and
be
quiet.
Then
in
a
coooooie
seductive
little
voice
she
said,
"Oh
Itaaaalo,
Itaaalo,
I've
got
a little problem, and I think only you can sort it out for me"?
With
a
little
chuckle,
Jack
muttered
quietly,
“I
don't
think
he's
allowed
to
do
things
like
that
Maud,
it's
not
in
his
contract,
and
he'd
probably
get
the
sack
if
he
did",
Followed
by
Eric
saying,
"I
don't
think
she'd
mind
if
he
got
the
sack.
She'd
probably
get
into
the
sack
with
him",
More
titters
from
everyone
,
followed
by
Dot
saying,
Oh
Maud,
aren't
those
men
awful",
Followed
by
a
few
more
titters,
followed
by
Italo
coming
over
and
saying,
"No
no
no
no
laughing, only working, working! Italo said, “Now Maud, what is ze problem"?
Maud
showed
Italo
the
problem
and
he
assured
her
it
was
quite
normal,
and
all
she
needed
was
a
file
to
make
it
smooth again and that he'd go and get all the ladies a file each, from the storeroom.
Italo
arrived
back
with
some
little
boxes,
which
he
gave
to
the
ladies.
Maud,
as
usual,
was
the
first
to
open
hers,
saying "Ooooooh my, what's this then?
Inside was the file in a paper sheath and on it was printed SMALL BASTARD!
Maud
said,
"I've
got
a
small
bastard,
have
you
ladies
got
small
bastards,
I
suppose
you
men
have
all
got
big
bastards"?
Jack
said,"Oh
Maud,
stop
your
chirruping,
for
god’s
sake.
A
bastard
is
just
a
type
of
file.
It's
the
pattern
of
the
cutting
edges
on
the
file.
You're
only
filing
the
small
end
of
your
soldering
iron,
so
you
don't
need
a
big
bastard,
get it filed and get on with your work"!
Of
course,
Maud
always
had
the
last
word
in
most
things,
and
as
she's
filing,
she's
saying
herself
in
a
quiet
voice,
but
just
loud
enough
so
that
we
could
all
hear,
"I
think
I'd
like
a
big
bastard,
don't
you
think
girls,
why
should
only
the
men have big bastards"? Followed of course by, "Oh Maud, you are awful", and so on and so on!
Now
you
may
think,
that
we
weren't
working,
but
production
started
to
increase
dramatically
around
this
time
and
more
new
faces
appeared.
Two
were
handicapped.
I
think
that
the
government
had
asked
firms
to
employ
as
many
handicapped
people
as
possible,
so
we
got
one
guy
who
was
slightly
mentally
impaired,
called
Les,
and
one
paraplegic
guy
who
was
paralysed
from
the
waist
down
and
used
two
shoulder
crutches.
I
can't
recall
the
name
of
the paraplegic guy, probably because he was only there for a short time.
He
was
taught
how
to
solder
and
put
on
the
electrical
wiring
section
making
the
harnesses
etc.
However,
because
the
benches
were
quite
tall
you
had
to
sit
on
slightly
higher
seats
and
we
had
to
give
him
a
hand
to
get
up
onto
the
seat.
Now,
you
don't
realise
how
many
times
a
person
has
to
get
on
and
off
a
seat
during
the
normal
working
day.
Toilets,
tea
breaks
etc.
Then
a
few
days
after
he
came,
he
was
stretching
over
to
get
some
components
and
he
fell
off his seat!
A
few
of
us
guys
rushed
over
to
help
him
back
up
on
to
his
chair,
which
we
found
quite
difficult
to
do
from
the
floor
level.
Of
course,
we
had
no
training
in
how
to
lift
someone
with
no
power
in
their
legs.
Anyway,
when
it
happened
again
a
week
or
two
later
and
he
hurt
himself
in
the
process,
the
management
sadly
decided
it
wasn't
practical
for
him to continue working there.
The
other
young
man
called
Les,
who
was
slightly
mentally
impaired,
You
could
have
a
simple
conversation
with
him,
but
you
couldn't
discuss
anything
with
him.
He
would
sometimes
go
off
into
his
own
little
world,
sometimes
talking
a
language
that
only
he
understood.
Luckily,
he
was
only
employed
to
sweep
up,
so
once
he
got
the
idea,
he
certainly
did
it
with
much
enthusiasm
and
gusto,
which
led
to
an
amusing
little
interlude
with
Tommy,
the
supervisor,
The
large
factory
floor
was
made
of
cement,
so
there
was
always
layer
of
dust
on
the
surface,
Les
was
given
a
bucket
of
damp
sawdust,
which
he
had
to
scatter
it
over
an
area
of
the
floor
before
he
swept
it.
The
theory
being,
that
the
dust
would
cling to the damp sawdust and not rise up into the air and get up our noses etc.
Tommy
came
around
the
corner
just
as
Les
started
sweeping
vigorously
on
a
piece
of
floor
that
he'd
spread
the
sawdust
on,
with
the
dust
rising
in
circles
in
front
of
him.
He
was
going
so
fast
that
he
simply
walked
through
the
rising
dust
rings,
which
the
proceeded
to
go
over
his
head
and
land
on
the
floor
again
behind
him,
“Bloody
Nora,
Look
at
that.
We're
all
gonna
end
up
with
sinusitis,
Hey
Les!
Les
lad,
can
you
just
hold
up
a
minute
and
slow
down
with
your
sweeping”
?
A
serious
look
came
over
Les's
face.
"Slow
down,
oh
I
can't
do
that.
I've
been
told
to
do
a
good job If I don't sweep it well, they said I might lose my job, and I don't want that”
Tommy
said,
"Listen
Les,
you
won't
lose
your
bloody
job,
you
can
be
sure
of
that,
because
I'm
the
supervisor
here,
so
I'm
not
going
to
sack
you.
I
just
want
you
to
slow
down
a
bit
and
sweep
slower.
There
was
still
a
look
on
Les's
face, that he hadn't quite grasped the theory of it all, so Tommy tried a new tack.
Look
Les,
he
said,
have
you
noticed,
that
when
you
sweep,
the
dust
seems
to
rise
up
in
little
circles
in
front
of
your
brush.
As
he
said
this,
Tommy
made
backward
circles
in
the
air
with
his
two
index
fingers,
rising
from
the
floor,
up
and up and up, until the circles went past his face and over his head.
Les nodded a yes. Tommy then gave a double thunbs up and said, "So you've got it then lad"?
Les looked him in the eyes, gave a single thumbs up and in a deep serious voice said "Fifteen"!
"Fifteen,"? said Tommy. "What the bloody hell are you talking about lad", again,
Les said, in an even deeper, stronger voice, "FIFTEEN GOOSEN"!
Tommy’s voice went up an octave, "FIFTEEN GOOSEN, What the hell is FIFTEEN BLOODY GOOSEN"?.
Tommy
looked
round
at
us
and
we
all
shrugged
our
shoulders.
Then
one
guy
gave
Tommy
a
thumbs
up
and
said,
"FIFTEEN", Then the rest of us gave the thumbs up and said "FIFTEEN GOOSEN"!
Tommy turned away with a smirk on his face, saying, "Don't you lot bloody start, Get on with your work"!
As he's walking back to his bench, he's muttering, "Fifteen bloody goosen, this factory is turning into a madhouse"!
For
a
while
after
this
incident,
"Ooooooooh,
you
are
awful
Maud"
went
out
of
fashion,
being
replaced
by,
either
“FIFTEEN” or "FIFTEEN GOOSEN", whenever anyone asked a question!
As
I
said,
Les
was
a
good-natured,
harmless
little
guy,
who
in
general,
fitted
in
with
things,
but
we
found
out
there
were
people
who
took
advantage
of
him
and
his
disability.
One
day
he
came
in
quite
late
to
work
and
we
asked
why.
He
told
us
that
his
moped,
that
he
came
to
work
on,
had
stopped
suddenly
when
he
was
half
way
to
work,
but
luckily
there
was
a
nearby
garage,
so
he
took
it
in
for
them
to
look
at
and
they
were
going
to
tell
him
what
was
wrong,
when
he called in tonight after work.
When
he
came
in
the
next
day
on
his
moped,
we
all
asked
what
was
wrong.
Quite
openly
he
said
that
it
was
because
of
the
sugar
that
he'd
put
in
the
petrol
tank,
it
had
clogged
it
up
so
it
stopped
it
working,
Everyone
said,
"What! You put sugar in the petrol tank"? WHY?
Les
told
us
that
he
was
in
a
cafe
with
some
guys
he
knew.
He'd
had
told
them
that
he
was
tired
after
working
all
day
at
Ditchburn’s.
One
guy
told
him,
that
what
he
needed
was
a
couple
of
extra
spoons
of
sugar
in
his
tea,
because
sugar
gives
instant
energy,
and
you'll
feel
a
lot
better
after
a
few
minutes
if
you
do
this.
As
they
were
leaving
the
cafe,
they
saw
Les's
moped,
telling
Les
that
it
didn't
look
very
strong
either,
and
maybe
if
he
put
a
couple
of
spoons
in
the
petrol tank as well, saying it would go like a bomb!
Of course next morning Les remembered this and did just that! Some people really are scumbags!
So life went on at Ditchburn’s. Les, with his daily sweeping sessions, under Tommy's watchful eyes.
We
knew
Tommy
was
watching
him,
because
every
so
often
we'd
hear
Tommy
say
quite
loudly,
"Leeeees….
“
With
Les
replying.
"Sorry
Tom.
I
forgot",
putting
his
thumb
up
saying,
"FIFTEEN"!
Then
even
Tommy
started
to
reply,
with
a
thumbs
up
and
a,"
FIFTEEN
GOOSEN"!
After
which,
when
he
heard
us
chuckling,
Tommy's
eyes
would
roll
upwards
and he'd say, "Well, if you can't bloody beat um, join um"!
Another
guy
that
came,
who
was
some
sort
of
technician,
always
had
very
dark
glasses
on
and
wore
a
dark
blue
boiler
suit.
I
can't
remember
his
name,
because
I
don't
think
he
stayed
long,
(maybe
someone
out
there
knows
his
name)
but
his
bench
was
all
by
itself,
away
from
the
rest
of
us.
I
pointed
this
out
to
one
of
the
guys
and
he
told
me,
it
would be better to keep away from him, because he was very emotionally upset and disturbed.
It
was
because
of
what
happened
to
him
in
Burma
following
his
harsh
treatment
by
the
Japanese
soldiers
during
WW2
when
he
was
forced
to
work
on
the
infamous
River
Kwai
railway.
He
said,
so
whatever
you
do,
don't
mention
the
war,
especially
anything
to
do
with
Burma!
He
then
added,
that
even
though
it
had
been
14
years
since
the
war,
this
guy
still
woke
up
screaming
and
in
cold
sweats
etc.
He
also
had
malaria
issues.
Being
the
youngest,
I
obeyed
and kept out of his way.
Regarding
this
guy,
and
the
shortness
of
his
stay.
I
do
remember
there
was
some
sort
of
an
incident
which
the
shop
floor
grapevine
said,
involved
another
of
the
new
workers
that
arrived,
I
don't
remember
his
real
name
either,
but
the
shop
floor
guys
nicknamed
him
"Captain
Kettle",
which
seemed
to
be
because,
he
had
just
come
ended
a
career
in
the
merchant
navy,
which
he'd
joined
as
a
cadet.
He
was
quite
a
small
man,
in
his
forties,
with
a
full,
but,
short
black
beard,
which
was
very
neatly
trimmed.
Another
thing,
he
had
slightly
oriental
features,
which
may
have
been
part
of
the
reason
both
he
and
the
ex
WW2
Burma
campaign
soldier
disappeared
after
a
few
weeks
of
working
there.
Maybe there was some sort incident, between the two of them.
In
any
war
when
atrocities
occur,
as
in
Burma,
the
deep-seated
hatred
built
up,
doesn't
just
disappear
when
countries
sign
a
peace
treaty
on
a
piece
of
paper,
as
we
had
seen
by
our
emotionally
traumatised
ex-soldier,
even
after 14 years! Sad, but true.
Also,
around
this
time,
another
amusing
event
took
place,
which
could
have
been
connected
with
above,
which
although rather basic in nature, certainly imprinted itself in my young mind as being very funny.
It
was
during
a
tea
break
and
we
were
all
just
having
our
tea.
Someone
had
brought
in
a
large,
brown,
Lyons
Swiss
roll,
which
was
on
a
plate,
half
cut
into
a
few
slices,
and
people
were
invited
to
take
a
slice
if
they
wanted
one,
All
of
a
sudden
old
Ben
appeared.
Ben
was
probably
the
oldest
employee
in
Ditchburn’s,
being
a
re-employed
retired
person,
around
70
years
old.
He
did
general
odd
jobs
for
the
Music
Maker
side
of
things,
Ben
was
wide-eyed
and
breathless,
he
said,
"Hey,
I've
been
cleaning
the
loo
and
I've
just
seen
the
biggest,
longest
poo,
I've
ever
seen
in
MY
LIFE!
The girls said, in unison, "Oh BEN!, Ben continued, "It's ENORMOUS!
He
then
caught
sight
of
the
brown
swiss
roll
on
the
plate
and
said,
"Why,
it's
almost
as
big
as
that",
pointing
to
the
swiss
roll,
Peels
of
laughter
from
everyone,
even
the
girls,
"BEN,
we
don't
want
to
hear
about
things
like
that,",
said
the girls, pretending to be cross, but laughing away amongst each other.
Ben
said,
"It's
all
right
for
you,
I've
gotta
get
rid
it,
I
tried
poking
it
with
a
stick,
but
it's
stuck
fast,
he
must've
eaten
a
bag of bloody cement for his breakfast", More laughter!
The
girls
said,"BEN,
will
you
just
tell
the
boys,
not
us",
By
now,
everyone
had
put
down
their
partly
eaten
swiss
roll
and for some reason, taken a large swig of tea! Tee hee!
Most
of
the
boys
had
rushed
off
to
the
loo
to
see
this
monster.
As
we
were
gazing
down
in
wonderment
and
disbelief
at
it,
Ben
came
in
"What
did
I
tell
ya,
that
guy
must
have
a
double-barrelled
arse-hole"
Everyone
collapsed
with
laughter
at
this
expression,
which
all
of
us
agreed,
completely
described
and
summed
up
the
situation.
The
expression
most
certainly
stuck
in
my
mind
and
I
still
find
it
amusing,
enough
to
have
a
little
chuckle
to
myself
when
I
picture us guys in the loo at Ditchburn’s, nearly 60 years ago.
After
the
initial
banter
about
it
had
died
down,
life
continued
on
for
a
few
days,
when
all
of
a
sudden,
Ben
hurried
in
and said quietly to a small group of us guys, "He's back"!
"The phantom strikes again", We all said, "Who's back, who's the Phantom"?
"Him,
the
one
that
left
the
big
poo,
I've
called
him
the
"Phantom",
'cause
nobody
knows
who
he
is,
Anyway,
I've
made
up
my
mind,
I'm
gonna
nail
the
bugger.
I'm
not
gonna
put
up
with
this
any
more.
I've
got
a
nice
little
spot
that
I
can
keep watch on the loos at tea breaks and lunch hour, I'll get him"
Ben told us not to worry, he'd get him, and that he did, about a week later!
An excited Ben came in saying, "I got him, I nailed him, and you'll never guess who it is"?
“It's Captain Kettle"!
Each
of
us
gave
an
opinion,
"NOOOOOOO,
surely
not.
"Someone
said,
"He's
too
small".
Another
said,
"His
bums
never that big", We all killed ourselves laughing.
However,
Ben
told
us
that
he'd
had
words
with
him
and
had
given
him
a
piece
of
his
mind.
Telling
him,
to
make
sure
he
didn't
do
it
again,
otherwise
he'd
make
sure
that
he
sorted
it
out
himself,
Now
whether
it
was
the
embarrassment
of
it
all,
or
he
had
some
sort
of
encounter
with
the
ex-Burma
army
soldier,
we
will
never
know,
because
they
both
seemed
to
disappear
at
the
same
time,
and
with
no
more
visits
from
the
"Phantom",
life
returned
to
normality
once
again on the Ditchburn’s shop floor.
Life
went
on
and
Ditchburn’s
vending
machines
was
becoming
a
great
success
and
it
didn't
take
long
before
production
increased
dramatically
and
new
faces
began
to
arrive
as
we
expanded.
The
production
team
was
joined
by
a
rather
posh
spoken
older
guy,
called
Ron,
who
was
in
his
mid-50s
and
another
guy
from
Halifax
who
was
about
the
same
age,
I
think
was
called
Ray,
who
was
the
complete
opposite
of
Ron
in
the
way
he
spoke.
He
had
the
broadest Lancashire accent I have ever heard in my life!
I
recall
that
in
my
early
Lancashire
days,
I
found
the
really
broad
accent,
with
its
numerous
strong
dialects,
using
completely
different
words
for
things,
quite
hard
to
understand
when
in
conversation,
often
sounding
quite
aggressive,
when
it's
not.
That,
coupled
with
the
prolific
use
of
old
Anglo
Saxon
thrown
in
for
good
measure,
almost
got me in trouble once.
Like,
when
Ray
from
Halifax
wanted
some
help
and
was
saying
something
like
"Oh
I,
ee
knows
nowt
t-bout
owt"!
I
quickly said, Err… sorry, I didn't quite understand. He turned and stared at me and said, "Whadda ya mean lad" ?
"You being 'effin' funny lad" ? ( I'm sure I don’t have to explain the word "effin")
"Don't ya speak 'effin' English lad" ?
I said, "Well, it's just the nowt t-bout owt, that I don't quite understand".
Ohhhh… so ya don't quite understand "Nowt t-bout owt" ay?
You’re a bit posh ay, what's that effin accent you've got?
I
told
him,
that
my
accent
was
because
my
dad,
being
in
the
R.A.F.
used
to
be
posted
every
2
years
to
a
different
part
of
the
country,
therefore
I
seemed
to
have
developed
a
middle
of
the
road
accent
that
could
be
understood
by
everyone.
He
then
said,
(putting
on
the
poshest
accent
he
could
muster)
"So,
let's
see
now,
you
would
probably
say,
"He knows nothing about anything". "Is that a bit clearer for you lad" ?
By this time, I just wanted out of the conversation, so I said “ok Ray, thanks for explaining”.
A couple of the guys also said, "Oh, leave him alone Ray", he means nothing wrong.
Ray
just
looked
at
the
guys
and
said,
“Ay,
I
suppose
so".
I
quickly
made
a
swift
exit
to
the
loo
for
5
minutes
to
let
things
cool
off
a
little.
I
was
a
bit
more
careful
in
the
future
as
to
what
I
said,
especially
to
Ray,
I
was
starting
to
learn,
that it was a bit of a jungle out there in the big wide world of the shop floor! Tee-hee!
In
general
though,
we
all
got
on
pretty
well
with
each
other
in
those
late
50s,early
60s
days.
Things
were
a
lot
more
class
conscious
then,
before
the
phenomenal
rise
of
the
Beatles,
with
their
broad
scouse
accents,
that
more
or
less
started
the
"Swinging
Sixties",
which
most
certainly
changed
British
attitudes,
indeed
the
worlds
attitudes,
to
accents
and dialects, making them far more acceptable to everyone.
There
was
a
few
new
office
staff
as
well.
The
main
office
staff
were
the
General
manager,
Mr
Walker,
nicknamed
“Johnny
Walker”,
due
to
the
fact,
of
the
amount
of
whiskey
the
shop
floor
guys
saw
him
consume
at
the
annual
office
party,
The
production
manager,
was
Harold
Foy,
who
had
a
very
posh,
but
very
nasal
accent.
The
sales
manager
was
Mr
Town,
who
had
had
received
a
very
bad
facial
accident
which
left
one
eye
slightly
higher
than
the
other.
There
was
a
little
bald
headed
guy,
who
had
something
to
do
with
the
production
side
of
things,
who
I
think
was
called
Wilf
Barton,
and
he
had
a
secretary
called
Audrey.
I
think
the
last
office
was
for
Harry
Barber,
the
general
foreman.
These
offices
were
all
situated
behind
the
two
rows
of
empty
vending
machine
cabinets
which
separated
us
from
those
pretty
little
office
girls
that
we
could
hear
clicking
up
and
down
in
their
stiletto
heels,
going
between
offices,
so
tantalizingly just out of our reach and out of our sight,
Actually,
having
these
empty
cabinets
there,
forming
a
barrier,
actually
boosted
production,
because
a
couple
of
the
guys,
who
had
an
eye
for
the
ladies,
realised
that
if
they
did
a
bit
of
a
spurt
and
completed
2
or
3
machines
quicker
than
usual
,they
could
open
up
a
gap
in
the
dreaded
barrier
that
had
previously
stopped
them
feasting
their
eyes
on
the
little
lovelies
that
clickety
clacked
past
at
regular
intervals.
Their
excuse
was,
that
it
helped
to
ease
the
boredom
of their working day! Tee-hee
POSH PETER
I
remember
a
young,
very
eloquent
and
extremely
well-spoken
ex
university
guy
arrived
and
caused
quite
a
stir
amongst
the
shop
floor
guys.
His
first
name
was
Peter.
He
was
about
twenty-one
years
old
and
his
accent
was
about
as
far
back
as
you
could
go.
Imagine
the
men’s
faces,
when
Mr
Foy,
the
production
manager,
came
to
them
and
said
Peter
was
going
to
spend
a
week
in
each
department
to
learn
the
ropes
in
all
the
aspects
of
vending
machine
production
and
that
he
hoped
they
would
bear
with
him
and
teach
him
as
much
as
they
possibly
could!
After
Mr
Foy
and Peter had left, the majority of comments by the guys were definitely unprintable. Tee-hee!
Apart
from
teaching
this
“alien”
from
another
world,
I
think
that
it
was
his
posh
accent
that
intrigued
them
the
most.
The most printable statement being, “He speaks so far back, that it's coming out of his backside”!
Well,
Peter
started
the
next
day
and
I
must
say
they
gave
Peter
some
stick,
relentlessly
calling
him
by
a
variety
of
names
which
mostly
had
gay
connotations,
Peter
took
it
all
in
his
stride,
with
much
good
humour
all
round.
He
got
though
his
ordeal
with
no
bad
feelings
and
in
fact,
a
couple
of
weeks
later
he
sold
a
Mini-spa,
which
was
a
quite
a
real
feather
in
his
cap.
When
I
bumped
into
him
afterwards,
he
actually
said,
that
he
could
never
have
done
it
without
his shop-floor training from the guys and offered his many thanks to all concerned.
It
seems
that
“Posh
Peter”
took
all
the
Ditchburn’s
shop
floor
training
form
his
workmates
on
board
and
used
it
to
his
advantage
as
he
eventually
became
the
chairman
of
J.
Sainsbury
plc.
one
of
the
largest
supermarket
chains
in
the
UK. and is now formally known as Sir Peter John Davis.
As
with
most
then
factories,
there
is
a
hierarchy,
which
was
a
sort
of
class
system
between
the
management
and
the
workers
and
you
notice
this
as
soon
as
you
start
work
in
the
morning
.The
workers,
being
at
the
bottom
of
the
heap,
start
at
8
o'clock
in
the
morning,
whereas
the
office
staff
start
at
nine,
or
say
they
do?
We
often
noticed
them
coming
in
at
anything
between
5
or
10
past
nine,
then
they
rubbed
it
in,
by
standing
by
the
coffee
machine
for
another
10
minutes,
before
they
went
into
their
offices,
We,
on
the
other
hand
were
treated
very
differently.
We
had
to
clock
in
with
a
punch
card,
before
8
o'clock
in
the
morning
as
we
came
through
the
door,
the
clock
card
gave
the
exact
time,
to
the
second,
when
you
entered
the
Ditchburn
building,
If
that
wasn't
bad
enough,
if
you
were
1
SECOND
late,
you
were
docked
a
quarter
of
an
hours
pay,
This
was
certainly
a
big
bone
of
contention
with
the
guys
when
they
saw
the
office
staff,
not
only
arriving
late,
but
standing
at
the
coffee
machines
at
ten
to
fifteen
minutes
past
nine,
Them
and
us
was very much alive in those days. “Still, you can't beat city hall”, as they used to say!
Funnily
enough,
my
sister
Yvonne
became
one
of
those
girls
that
clicked
and
clacked
up
and
down,
when
she
also
got
a
job
at
Ditchburn’s
as
well,
just
a
few
months
after
me.
She
was
a
top-class
secretary,
working
at
the
huge
Cookson’s
bread
factory,
which
was
situated
a
few
hundred
metres
up
the
road
from
Dock
Rd,
on
the
corner
where
the
huge
grass
area
started.
This
grassed
area,
ran
the
complete
length
of
Lytham
sea
front
promenade.
After
my
sister
Yvonne
arrived,
I
seemed
to
notice
all
the
new
secretaries,
who
became
her
friends,
there
was
Val,
Heather,
Barbara and Julie.
Julie
was
Neville’s
favourite,
She
was
what
he
called
a
real
buxom
lass.
He
knew
her
clickety
clack
footfall
by
heart.
As
she
went
wiggling
past
in
her
tight
skirt,
he'd
always
down
tools
for
a
few
seconds
and
gaze
at
her
rear
end
until
she'd
disappeared
from
view,
then
he'd
say
to
me,
"Oooooooo,
sweet
as
a
nut”
"Did
you
see
that
Sutty,
how
she
pointed at us with her jumper", Of course I laughed at that. "And what about the beautiful bum Sutty"?
"Ooooooohh
and
did
you
notice
that
movement
she
has,
when
she's
walking
away
from
you,
how
she
sort
of,
leaves
it there, then snatches it back at the last minute"? "Ooooooohh, it looks like two little boys, fighting under a blanket"
By
this
time,
I
was
in
fits
of
laughter.
Being
a
young
16-year-old,
I'd
never
heard
adults
talking
like
this
about
women.
It certainly was an eye-opener for me, but have to admit, I enjoyed every minute of it. Tee-hee !
Val,
Barbara
and
Heather
became
my
sisters’
close
friends,
who
often
did
the
night
spots
together
in
Blackpool
when
any
recording
celebs
were
doing
gigs
nearby.
Trad
jazz
was
the
favourite
music
choice,
Acker
Bilk,
Kenny
Ball
and
the
Jazzmen,
Johnny
Dankworth
etc.
Val
still
is
a
close
friend
of
Yvonne
to
this
day,
still
living
in
Kirkham.
She
and
Yvonne
still
keep
contact
by
mail
and
visits
after
all
these
years,
even
though
my
sister
lives
in
Florida,
and
has
done
so
since
the
mid-1970s.
Yvonne
worked
for
Mr
Town
and
then
Mr
Walker
for
a
few
years.
Heather
was
my
little
dream
girl
that
I
loved
from
afar.
Although
we
were
the
same
age,
she
was
miles
ahead
of
me
in
the
mating
game,
as
is the case with many male and female teenagers around 16 or 17 years old.
Photo Ref: DB361 Courtesy of Stewart Sutton. Me at an office party in 1962 aged 18. I'd just shaken
hands with Mr Ditchburn, who is next to me, on the right.
THE BIG MOVE ACROSS THE YARD TO THE WAREHOUSE
Just
after
this,
we
had
the
big
move
to
the
warehouse
across
the
yard,
that
I
described
earlier
and
within
the
next
few
months there were quite a few staff changes!
In
our
new
warehouse
both
sales
and
production
increased.
It
was
now
that
I
got
involved,
working
with
a
young
electrical
technician,
called
Philip
something?
I
had
a
blank.
Then
Latham
came
to
mind.
I
really
can't
remember,
but
this
definitely
rings
a
bell.
I
shall
describe
both
him
and
his
girlfriend,
who
also
worked
there,
in
case
it
jogs
somebodies memory.
He
was
about
twenty
years
old,
very
Nordic
looking
with
very
light
blond
hair.
A
guy
called
Tab
Hunter
had
just
had
a
hit
with
the
song,
"Young
Love"
and
this
guy
was
as
equally
handsome
as
he
was.
His
girlfriend
was
also
classically
pretty, but her hair was jet black and it hung down to her waist, making them an extremely attractive striking couple!
Indeed,
when
they
walked
through
together
sometimes,
our
girls
would
comment,
saying
things
like,
"Gee,
I'll
bet
their bloody kids turn out to be real lookers"!
Philips
department
was
research
and
development,
who
were
experimenting
with
dual
price
machines.
This
was
needed,
because
when
commodity
prices
rose
at
different
levels,
say,
coffee
became
more
expensive
than
chocolate, the coffee drink had to be fourpence, instead of the standard price of threepence.
Therefore,
a
more
complicated
wiring
diagram
for
the
new
coin
mechanism
had
to
be
used,
using
two
extra
relays
and
two
start
up
micro-switches,
instead
of
one,
as
with
a
single
price
coin
machine.
One
micro-switch
for
the
threepenny
bit
and
one
for
the
single
penny.
A
relay
is
simply
an
electrical
switch,
activated
by
electrical
power.
I
got
really
interested
in
electrical
circuitry
with
Phillip,
and
he
taught
me
a
great
deal
about
the
electrical
side
of
the
vending
machines.
this
enabled
me
to
test
the
electrical
components
in
emergencies
when
Italo
Maruchi
was
ever
called
away,
or
had
to
attend
managerial
staff
meetings,
which
took
place
most
mornings
for
about
an
hour
with
all
the
other
managers.
Someone
had
to
stand
in
to
keep
up
the
steady
stream
of
components
needed
downstairs
on
the production lines and I really enjoyed responsibility of doing test inspection.
It
was
only
by
me
doing
this
testing,
which
gave
me
the
experience,
that
then
led
to
me
being
temporarily
in
charge
of
testing all the electrical components when I was only nineteen, two years later.
It
was
in
the
middle
of
this
very
changeable
period
after
the
move
that
Italo
Maruchi
suddenly
left
and
was
replaced
by a real cockney guy called Tony Toose, who was completely different to Italo Maruchi!
Italo
was
a
rather
dashing
young
man,
whereas
Tony
Toose
was
a
real
east
ender
who
chain
smoked
and
swore
like
a
trooper,
even
in
front
of
the
ladies
and
they
didn't
like
it
at
all.
but
he
was
in
charge,
so
we
just
got
on
with
our
work.
When
he
found
out
that
I
could
do
the
testing,
he
often
used
to
call
me
to
do
it,
while
he
had
meetings,
or
a
quick
fag
somewhere. I didn't mind because I was getting more and more experienced doing the testing, which I enjoyed.
More new faces came in as production increased.
There was a young welsh guy in a brown overall called Brin joined our department.
One
was
a
new
fresh-faced
school
leaver,
for
the
life
of
me,
I
couldn't
remember
his
name
until
I
contacted
Arthur
Philips
who
did
the
first
blog
regarding
the
Vending
machine
side
of
Ditchburn’s,
Arthur
informed
me
that
his
name
was David Horrocks. I remember that he looked so young, which made me feel so old.
I
felt
I
should
have
remembered
his
name,
because
Maud
seemed
to
transfer
all
her
affections
on
to
him,
as
soon
as
he
got
there.
One
perk
that
I
missed,
was
the
occasional
free
cigarette
she
always
used
to
offer
me
as
she
lit
up.
Now that little perk went to him.
I
supposed,
that
it
was
because
I
had
grown
up
a
bit,
being
now
17
years
old,
and
no
longer
the
shop
floor
baby.
I
suppose
I'd
become
more
like
one
of
the
old
boy’s
network
in
the
work
place,
therefore
she
needed
a
new
baby
to
care for, I remember thinking to myself, "Oh well, that's life"!
More
new
faces
came
to
the
electrical
department.
One
was
a
very
attractive
30
something,
called
Sheila,
who
most
certainly
awakened
and
stirred
up
those
"funny
familiar
forgotten
feelings"
in
Both
Jack
and
Eric
and
indeed,
all
of
the
older
guys,
in
both
the
electrical
section
and
the
production
section
downstairs,
I
remember
one
time
she
was
talking
to
Jack
and
Eric,
who
were
sitting,
and
staring,
transfixed
on
her
every
word.
As
they
were
gazing
longingly
at
her
rear
end,
as
she
walked
away,
I
made
the
comment,"
You
two
sure
fancy
her,
don't
you,
Personally,
I
think
she's
a
bit
old, Don't you think"?
Eric
turned,
and
his
eyes
opened
wide,
he
then
did
something
you
didn't
see
very
often.
He
removed
his
pipe
from
his
mouth
and
said,
"Laddie,
laddie,
laddie,
how
old
are
you
?,
sixteen
or
seventeen".
My
god,
you've
got
a
lot
to
learn
in
the
next
five
to
ten
years.
That
woman
is
just
about
reaching
her
prime,
so
I
suggest
that
you
go
a
play
on
the
swings
in
the
school
playground,
then
see
your
doctor
and
find
out
if
you've
gone
through
puberty
yet”
Again,
lots
of
laughter.
Also,
around
this
time
Jack
Matheson
was
promoted
to
quality
control
and
inspection
down
in
the
old
factory
where
the
completed
machines
were
tested
before
they
were
dispatched
out
to
customers,
I
started
to
do
the
testing
of
components,
quite
by
chance.
Having
been
there
a
while,
I
knew
how
the
electrical
side
of
the
machines
worked,
because
of
what
I'd
learned
from
Jack
Matheson
and
Phillip
Latham,
from
research
and
development,
and
with
the
refrigeration side taught by John, "The Bum from Brum"!
I
will
always
be
grateful
for
to
these
guys,
for
the
electrical
knowledge
they
gave
me,
which
enabled
me
to
become
the
component
tester
at
such
a
young
age.
I
also
used
it
to
great
effect
in
many
aspects
of
my
future
life
after
Ditchburn’s
where
I
have
hardly
ever
had
to
call
in
a
tradesman
on
any
household
job,
saving
me
and
at
wife
a
fortune over the years.
It
was
also
around
then,
that
another
new,
slightly
older
teenage
face
appeared!
He
was
about
my
age
and
he
was
called
Bob
Shaw,
which
was
nice
for
me,
having
a
person
of
a
similar
age
around.
He
was
a
real
rocker
who
had
greasy,
combed
back
hair
at
the
sides,
which
he
combed
into
a
DA
at
the
back
(DA,
for
the
uninitiated,
being
a
Ducks
Arse) His hair at the front was combed up from both sides, towards the centre, making a huge quiff!
With
his
black
jeans
and
his
black
leather
jacket
it
gave
him
a
classic
biker
look.
He
was
a
bit
of
a
throwback,
because
the Beatles had arrived and then the "Swinging Sixties" were upon us.
After
he'd
been
there
a
week
or
two,
we
were
talking
about
the
cheap
records
that
the
Music
Maker
side
of
Ditchburn’s
sold
off
when
they
restocked
the
juke
boxes
with
the
latest
hits.
Bob
thought
it
was
great,
because
he
could
get
them
cheap
and
learn
the
chords
from
them
and
then
play
them
on
his
guitar.
He
said
he
fancied
doing
what
all
the
young
guys
fancied
doing,
which
was
to
form
a
group
like
the
Beatles
and
start
playing
the
local
venues.
I
told
him
I
could
sing
a
bit
and
knew
about
four
songs
all
the
way
through.
Bob
said,
great,
do
you
fancy
getting
together
in
my
front
room
and
see
how
we
do.
I,
of
course,
jumped
at
the
chance
of
having
some
proper
backing
to
sing
to.
Bob
then
asked
what
the
songs
were.
When
told
him
that
the
were
"The
Young
Ones"
by
Cliff
Richard,
"I
Think
of
You",
by
The Merseybeat’s, "Like I've never Been Gone", by "Billy Fury" and "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke.
Bob
said,
"A
bit
tame
aren't
they,
still,
they'll
do
for
a
start.
Come
around
Saturday
afternoon
to
my
house
and
we'll
give it a go”.
After
we'd
run
through
my
songs,
which
I
thought
sounded
pretty
good,
Bob
was
sort
of
quiet,
so
I
asked
him
what's
up.
He
said,"
That
lots
OK,
but
can
you
do
more
up-tempo
stuff,
you
know,
where
you
scream
down
the
mike
and
we
can shake go mad and shake our heads and hair around with the beat"?
Well
I
tried
it,
but
I
just
couldn't
scream!
That
just
about
knocked
it
on
the
head
and
we
didn't
do
it
again.
Bob
knew
he
wanted
"Hard
Rock,
Head Banging" stuff, so I was out.
However,
the
memory
of
how
good
I
sounded
with
backing,
inspired
me
enough
to
continue
singing.
So,
with
any
chance
I
got
each
week,
I
went
to
anywhere,
where
someone
was
playing
a
piano
and
asked
the
pianist
if
I
could
sing
a
couple
of
songs,
to
get
experienced
enough
to
fulfill my dream of singing in the working men’s clubs etc.
You
could
say
that
the
rebuttal
by
Bob
Shaw
changed
my
life
forever,
because
with
his
rebuttal,
I
eventually
made
a
living
in
the
entertainment
world,
which
many
would
be
entertainers
will
tell
you,
is
no
mean
feat,
Thank
you
Bob
Shaw.
I
hope
that
you
see
this
blog
Bob,
so that I can say thank you once again, in person.
Below is a photo of Bob Shaw of Blackpool.
You
know,
in
the
early
60s,
for
most
of
the
population
like
me,
without
a
car,
going
to
another
town
or
city
was
a
major
event,
especially
with
the
lack
of
motorways.
Traveling
for
most
workers,
unless
you
were
a
delivery
driver
was
out
of
the
question.
Nearly
all
of
my
wages
went
on
basic
living
costs.
This
was,
for
me,
a
few
pints
on
a
Friday
night
down
the
pub,
then
a
few
more
pints
on
a
Saturday
followed
by
a
dance
at
the
local
hop,
which
took
place
each
weekend
in
Lowther
Gardens
in
Lytham.
The
local
groups
who
performed,
lived
in
the
area.
The
only
two
I
can
remember
at
this
moment
being,
"Bruce
and
the
Spiders
“and
"Rhythm
Unlimited",
If
I
remember
anymore
groups,
I'll come back to it.
This
was
also
around
the
time
Arthur
Philips
came.
I
don't
remember
his
face,
but
I
do
remember
the
job
swop
that
I
did
with
him
where
I
worked
more
with
Tony
Tooze,
doing
testing
and
he
went
over
to
the
background
music
department,
after
which,
like
he
said,
in
his
blog,
we
probably
didn't
bump
into
each
other
again,
due
to
this
happening.
Also,
that
I
left
Ditchburn’s
for
the
first
time
a
few
months
afterwards,
because
of
a
situation
that
developed
which
I
thought
to
be
extremely
unfair,
especially
as
I
was
acting
head
of
the
electrical
test
department,
due
to
the
fact
that
Tony
Tooze,
left
suddenly
and
they
asked
me
to
hold
the
fort
till
they
got
another
departmental
head. I, of course said yes, but after a few months had passed and no one had appeared. I put in for a raise.
They ummed and arrd and eventually gave me a £1-50 raise from about £7.00 per week to £8.50 per week!
Considering
that
Tony
Tooze
was
on
about
£15.00
per
week.
I
became
unhappy.
One
of
my
drinking
mates
was
an
electrical contractor, who said his firm needed someone, so off I went, with a pay rise, now up to £10.00 per week!
I remember being very sorry that things ended that way, after at many happy years there, but life goes on!
Talking
of
groups
and
travel.
The
Beatles
arrived
in
62/63
and
the
"Cavern"
in
Liverpool
became
the
in
place
to
be.
Everyone
at
Ditchburn’s,
showed
tremendous
interest
in
them
and
there
was
a
lot
of
talk
about
them
and
the
Cavern
Club,
due
of
course,
to
the
Wurlitzer
Juke
Box
side
of
things
and
record
sales
etc.
Even
Bob
Shaw
thought
he
might like to pay it a visit, but with no transport and the costs it never happened.
As
I've
just
said,
I
would've
never
got
to
go
to
the
Cavern
normally,
but
just
after
I'd
left
Ditchburn’s
for
the
first
time
in
1963,
and
started
work
for
an
electrical
contracting
company
wiring
houses,
called
"W.
A.Howe
and
Sons",
of
112
Kenilworth
Rd,
St
Anne’s
on
sea.
I
got
to
know
this
guy
nick-named,
"Mouse",
who
I
met
at
a
youth
club
and
he
came
up
with
the
answer.
Why
was
he
called
Mouse?
Well,
he
had
a
thin
long
face
with
a
large
set
of
sticky
out
teeth a bit like Ken Dodd and he also looked like a "Mouse"! Tee-hee
He
told
me
he
had
access
to
a
rather
battered
old
Luton
ice
cream
van,
and
did
I
fancy
going
to
see
the
Cavern
Club!
"You
bet",
I
said,
and
we
set
off
one
Saturday
lunch
time
bound
for
Liverpool.
We
got
a
bit
lost
trying
to
find
the
Cavern
and
eventually
got
there
about
four
/
four
thirty
in
the
afternoon.
The
area
where
the
Cavern
was,
was
very
run
down
and
there
was
no
parking
anywhere
to
be
had.
The
Caverns
entrance
was
also
difficult
to
get
to.
It
was
down
a
small
one-way
street,
which
was
only
a
little
bigger
than
the
ice
cream
van.
We
parked
up
on
the
side
of
the
road
and
decided
that
we
would
only
drive
past
it,
and
not
get
out,
because
of
a
large,
tough
looking
group
of
4
or
5
leather-clad,
long-haired
rockers
standing
outside
the
entrance
to
the
club.
We
set
off
around
a
couple
of
bends,
to
line
up
with
the
one-way
system,
but
as
we
turned
into
the
small
street
and
got
about
half
way
about
nine
or ten more rockers suddenly emerged from the club entrance!
We,
of
course
had
to
stop
and
were
surrounded
by
the
mob,
who
greeted
us
with
an
extensive
selection
of
scouse
flavoured
Anglo
Saxon,
which
let
us
know,
in
no
uncertain
terms,
that
we
shouldn't
have
brought
our
ice
cream
van
down
that
road.
Mouse,
wound
down
the
window
and
apologised,
and
then
tried
a
bit
of
flattery
as
well,
saying,
that
we
only
wanted
to
see
the
most
famous
club
in
the
world
and
if
they
would
just
stand
against
the
wall